DailyCrossroads365
DailyCrossroads365 is a series of short content articles on the subject of Legacy. As a Jesus follower I became fascinated by his example of living and leaving a legacy. His influence was through his relationships while on earth and now his influence remains through the relationships he invites us to today. I have been fortunate to learn so much from, family, friends, various leaders both in business and ministry. The information I share in the following headings were inspired by these people who have had great influence in my life.
I. Legacy
Legacy
The unfortunate accident resulting in the death of Kobe Bryant and 9 other individuals including Kobe’s daughter Gianna has left many people in a sense of shock and disbelief. For each of these individuals there are friends, family and others, like myself, that are left with great sadness as well as wonderful memories of their lives. Each of those lives are precious to God.
A great number of tributes have been made to the legacy of Kobe Bryant. While I am not a huge NBA fan, I am still will aware of his athletic talents and also familiar with his life off the court. Simply stated he had a remarkable basketball career and will go down as one of the best all time.
I have taken time to think about athletes like Kobe Bryant that leave this world with great sports legacies. I also think about athletes in the process of leaving great legacies like Tiger Woods in golf. While it is easy to understand their legacy by all their accomplishments on the court and off the tee box, leaving a legacy goes way beyond that.
Fortunately for them and hopefully for everyone there is a change in life we can all experience. It’s a shift of priority from “what I am doing” to “who I am” that takes the lead. These are two consistent parts of our lives that we have to wrestle with as we journey through life. What do I want to be known for? Is it what I am doing or who am I? To be a huge legend in a particular sport or in any other area of life and to make that change in mindset is not an easy task. It’s easy to get caught up in what we are doing especially when we have a reputation for being great at it. I believe at some point in Kobe’s life he realized this. From my observations over the past several years this has resonated with Tiger Woods as well.
While the records and championships on the court and course are important achievements for both, it is the positive impact on others that ultimately matters to them. You could hear the impact Kobe left with teammates, coaches, families and friends as they reflected on what Kobe meant to them. While they acknowledge all the records, what mattered to these people was the positive impact Kobe had on them. You hear it today about Tiger Woods. His peers, acquaintances and announcers talk about a different Tiger. What started out as a narrow focus for championships coupled with a number of personal bad mistakes has evolved into a career of advancing other’s career and the recognition of the importance of family. It’s a shift from a life of personal pursuits to being recognized for what really matters to other people.
The word legacy has really intrigued me for a long time. What I have come to discover through reading from different authors, ministers and leaders is that a legacy isn’t about what you leave behind when your gone from this earth. It’s about how you live your life today and tomorrow. It’s something we live and contribute to every day. It not a noun describing a finished body of work but a verb describing how we live. I believe this describes the transition of both Kobe and Tiger’s lives.
I recently read a quote that made me stop and think about these two legends and the word legacy. Brian Brault wrote “We cannot choose what our legacy will be. We can choose our actions and the world will determine our legacy”. Fortunately for me I am a slow reader and that didn’t pass me by.
Here is what is great about that quote, if our legacy is about our actions, and if we all get this right, then what makes Kobe and Tiger real legends will be no different for us. Choosing the right actions is where the daily challenge is. We all have the ability to leave a great legacy. For Kobe and Tiger, I don’t believe it will be the scoreboard or the scorecard that determines their legacy for me, but the change and difference they made in so many people’s lives.
This change of mindset does not have to be experienced later in life but is something we can be intentional about today and live today. We should all desire to live a life that matters and is a blessing for others today and for years to come.
Questions:
Do you find more identity in what you do versus who you have become?
Do you spend as much time on becoming someone as you spend time on doing something?
Application I am trying:
Don’t focus on doing something without focusing on becoming something.
Verse:
“Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, And the man that getteth understanding. For the gaining of it is better than the gaining of silver, And the profit thereof than fine gold.”
Proverbs 3:13-14 ASV
https://www.bible.com/12/pro.3.13-14.asv
II. Value Today
“Value today!”
I had a friend ask me a question after the first Crossroad email regarding the legacies of two champions. He said it was nice to read about athletes or famous people that are creating their legacy but he wanted to know how that it applied to us everyday people. He asked “How can we create a great legacy? “
That’s a good question and It wasn’t one I started to ponder until I neared my fifties. Like others, I don’t even think it was even something I had thought of before that. I mention before that the word legacy had really intrigued me for a long time. My interest was piqued when I began studying about the different leadership styles in business. One of my favorite leaders and authors is John Maxwell. John wrote many books on business leadership. Much of the subject matter was geared towards being a “legacy leader”. John’s description of a legacy leader is one that will influence and impact others for generations to come. An analogy he often uses is that of tossing a rock into a pond and the ripple effect it creates across the surface of the water. The impact of our leadership should have the same effect on those we lead.
John also talks about our legacy in life as well. He said that you can choose today what people will say about us at our funeral. Wait a second, I wasn’t thinking that far ahead. In one of John’s Minute with Maxwell he states “If you want to visualize your legacy tomorrow, value it today. To me he was making a point that the things you want them to say about you tomorrow should cause you to think about what you are doing today. Which again goes back to the word legacy as not what you will ultimately leave behind but what you do today. So, what we did yesterday and what we do today will be what will be said tomorrow. Unfortunately for me my yesterdays are filled with choices, situations, and paths I would rather have not been part of my story much less my legacy. I’m not writing this because I got it right. In fact, I got much of it wrong. Actually, it has taken a lifetime to reflect on the path that I had taken and wonder if there was a shorter and better road that I could have taken. Were there different choices in the right places or at the right time that could have dramatically improved the quality of my life and those who I influence? The answer is absolutely. However, I would rather live a life of reflection than regret. It helps me move on in my life, grow in awareness and share with others.
Like it or not we are all going to leave a legacy. What we did yesterday and what we are doing today will be our story tomorrow. If you live a life of watching Netflix and TV that may be your story. If you have a goal of chasing money that might be your story. If you are full of anger then that could be your story. If you live a life of generosity and serving others then hopefully that may be your story. I believe there are many parts to a person’s story that create their legacy. However, whatever consumes our time and energy will certainly become the focus of our story. We only have one life to live, and nobody is responsible for it but you. Your legacy, your story, will become what you live it to become. I’m grateful we have an opportunity each day to write out the rest of our story.
Questions:
What has been or what is consuming your time?
What are you doing today that you want to be known for tomorrow?
“For where thy treasure is, there will thy heart be also” Matthew 6:21 ASV
III. Climbing the Right Ladder
Climbing the Right Ladder
The previous Dailycrossroads spoke on “how” we can leave a good legacy. Main point I learned and hope to apply is the concept is that what we did yesterday and what we are doing today will be our story tomorrow. Legacy is about living today what you want to be leaving behind tomorrow.
Before a message on “why” we should consider leaving a good legacy, I like to share a couple of others point that were passed on to me about “how” we can leave a good legacy.
Like it or not we are all going to leave a legacy. Your legacy will either be created intentionally or by default. Being intentional with your life means doing things with a purpose. With a focus on your legacy you have to choices and decisions that will lead you in a certain direction and ultimately to a certain designation. On the other hand, a legacy by default means that you take no purposeful action to create your story. While we all follow certain stages in life a journey by default tends to just drifts without much direction and ends up somewhere by accident. Both paths have the ability to either tell a good story or bad story. Thus, if we are going to leave a legacy one way or another then being intentional with our choices and actions gives us a much better opportunity leave the kind of legacy we desire.
One of the best things about being in my fifties, besides having an accuse when I forget things, is the ability to look both backwards and forward at life. As I reflect backwards, I am not sure I have been very intentional about a lot of my past especially when it comes to the word legacy. I believe we all tend to focus on the stage of life we are going through while giving little or no thought to the future. Each stage has its own road to travel and a different ladder to climb. While I have intentionally made good and bad decisions throughout my journey, I am not sure they were a step in the right direction when it comes to the word legacy. Even the good intentional decisions I made where often for short term goals not associated with any thought of legacy. As I reflect back at those intentional decisions there where so many ladders that I climb only to realize now they were laying against the wrong building.
So that brings me to the next point, while being intentional with choices and decision is important, they must also have direction. Our pastor, Andy Stanley, said “your direction not intentions determines your destination or your future”. Think about it, if you don’t know where you’re going it’s hard or almost impossible to end up at the destination where you want to be.
I have spent a number of years working with my life coach Rosie. Rosie has impacted my life in so many positive ways sharing my ideas, holding me accountable, inspiring me towards growth and challenging me when I become complacent. I also learned from him about the importance of setting annual goals. At the start of each year I set several challenging goals in areas I need to grow in. Each one of these annual goals become the designation for that year’s journey. Once you know the destination then you have the direction in order to get there. The rest of the year is about being intentional not only with your decisions and choices but with your direction as well. As I reflect backwards, I have not always been sure of the road I was on because I really never thought about the destination. So, it’s not hard to find yourself living a life by default when you’re not being intentional about choices and when there is no real direction.
The upside for me and possibly for others is our roads haven’t ended and our stories are not over. And since we are going to leave a legacy one way or another, I believe writing a good story requires me to be more intentional and have direction.
Another author that I have learned a lot of leadership qualities from is Stephen Covey. He said “To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you're going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.”
Being intentional with your direction will lead you to a place you intended.
Are you living in the right direction?
What area of your life is made up as one of good intentions that you like to take action on to create an intentional life? Ex. Intend to be debt free by the end of the year, meanwhile I continue to run up my credit card.
“Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the Heavenly prize for which God, through Chris Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:13-14
IV. Time for Others
Time for Others
At this stage in my life time seems to just fly by. Kat and I boxed up our belongings and moved down to St. Simons Island. On the island the locals like to say that you will like the pace. But between all the self-inflicted home projects and wonderful friends and family visits during the holidays time has simply flown by.
It also seems I haven’t been very intentional with my commitment to writing Dailycrossroads. Since it has been a while I had to go back and refresh my memory on where I left off. Some of the main points I have learned about the topic of legacy are that leaving a legacy isn’t measured as much by what you do as it is about who you are. Legacy is about living today what you want to leave behind tomorrow. That’s a pretty simple instruction on how to leave behind a good legacy but it’s the application of that statement that makes it complicated. And like it or not we are all going to leave a legacy whether or not it is intentional. Being intentional gives you a better chance of leaving a legacy that others will be blessed by. Finally, knowing what ladder you are on and what wall you’re climbing is important to the whole process. As Steve Covey says, beginning with the end in mind means starting with a clear destination. Once you know where you want to end up then you will know your direction and can be intentional about choices.
As I continue to share what I am learning I cannot help but think that I should have incorporated the points made in the book by Simon Sinek “Start with Why”. Hopefully my message will still resonate. I spoke on the “what” a legacy is and the “how” we can leave a legacy so here is the “why” worth sharing. There are probably a number of whys we should consider when it comes to our legacy but here are two that resonate with me:
Save time – live life better
Pass the baton – bless others
When we’re younger we tend to believe we have all the time in the world. As we progress through life time tends to get squeezed by the increased responsibilities and obligations. As we get into the later stages of life, we start measuring how much or how little time there is.
Over time our perspective on time changes and so does the value of time. That change in perspective becomes one of those “I wish I knew then what I know now” kind of expressions.
I believe if we could have valued our time earlier in life it might impact how we live life. A perspective like that could lead to better choices in all stages of life. Making poor choices always cost us time. I don’t think I ever really stopped to consider that or even why that was important. Instead of wasting time over the years climbing ladders that led us to wrong places and outcomes we might have given it more thought. Maybe time spent chasing money, addictions and hobbies cost us time with family, relationships and even our health. Even making up for lost time cost us time as a result of poor decisions. I think there is a real connection between legacy living and time. I believe if we valued time earlier in life by considering our legacy and the choices we make then not only would we save wasted time but live a better life.
I’ve learned so much a from my grandparents and parents. Some things are good and somethings not so good. I often joke that I try to scare my kids straight by telling them all the bad things I chose and did in my past. I like to think they have been able to filter some of their own choices based on a few of those horror stories. Ultimately, I hope some of these stories will help them to create a better future for themselves.
Some people feel that leaving money is what an inheritance and passing the baton is all about. While finances are one way to leave something behind it is how we live and what we value that are of greater inheritance. I have learned love, generosity, discipline, fairness, compassion and a number of other characteristics from my grandparents, parents and other older mentors. What they believed, valued and lived were lessons for me throughout my life. All of these characteristics are of greater value than money because they helped shape my life and my beliefs. As for my kids, I hope I will have passed along some attributes that will be as valuable in their journey.
We have all gained a wealth of knowledge and wisdom over a lifetime of living and learning. All of these experiences are of great value. They should be shared with the next generation. This requires being intentional in investing time with others and especially the next generation. The things I continue to learn from authors, mentors, spiritual leaders and friends have helped me make a better future for myself. It’s what motivates me to write. My hope is writing some of what I learn will help improve the quality of my kids’ future and will be a blessing for them. I believe that legacy living is about handing off characteristics, life experiences and wisdom that blesses others for generations to come.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” Mathew 6:21
My hope today is I do a better job of treasuring time, so I can be a blessing to others.
V. Different View
Different View
For the past several years I have chosen a single word to focus on for that year. This annual ritual has included words like control, intentional, capacity and growth. For 2020 I chose the word perspective. Perspective came to mind as a result of an incident where someone’s opinion caused a great deal of pain to another person. While that someone had good intentions as she spoke from her perspective, she only had a limited knowledge of the subject. That made me wonder how often I am guilty of sharing my possibly uniformed perspective on an issue that creates more harm than good.
It is said that perspective is truth to the owner. Perspective is our lens through which we see life and events. That’s important to consider because we do not share the same perspective. Our perspective is shaped by our own life experiences, emotions, intellect, physical presence, spirituality, age and so many other factors. Our perspective also shapes our attitude towards people that we see that are different from us. How we view life from our perspective influences our responses to life issues and events.
If I learned anything in 2020 it was that it is not natural for me to see things the same way as someone else. When faced with issues and events I immediately move towards my self-interest and respond without much consideration of others. At the start of the pandemic the simple request to wear a mask did not seem that important to me. I felt that while I am middle-aged and in very good health that getting sick wouldn’t be a big deal. Initially I didn’t look at it from the viewpoint of an elderly individual or someone with health issues. From their perspective Covid-19 presented a big threat to their lives. So, having everyone participate in wearing a mask was a way to reduce that risk. As other events unfolded in 2020, I began to consider how narrow my perspective on a number of issues was. I started investing time to consider a bigger picture of the issues.
With the escalating impact of Covid -19, rising cultural tensions and a more divided political state, 2020 created more stumbling blocks for our country’s unity. While every year presents a new list of issues, that year seemed to create so many life changing situations and decisions. This made people anxious and on edge. Social media, news, and public opinions seem to magnify the issues and individual perspective. Who had time to consider other people’s perspective when events and issues that had tremendous consequences were coming at such a fast pace?
It was obvious that we could have benefited from a healthier perspective in 2020. Not one that only gravitates towards our own interest but one that is broader and more balanced. Not one that rushes to conclusions, judgement and decisions without consideration for someone else’s truth or perspective. Again, this not a natural process for us especially when emotions are running high and the cultural landscape has grown ugly.
There are several sayings that I believe support our need for a broader and more balanced perspective. They seem to address what we overlook when we share our perspective with others. First, Nelson Mandela said, “Where you stand is where you sit.” Your opinions, your needs, and your political views are where you stand and are largely determined and influenced by the place you occupy or sit in society. Where you sit has to do with your finances, health issues, race, community, age and your past. What if we took time to consider where people sit to understand better where they stand? We obviously don’t sit in the same place so it should be easy to understand we don’t stand the same. If we were to walked in the other person’s shoes, what would we experience? Would our opinions change and be like theirs? Would our needs be different than they are now? Would our emotions rise like theirs? For me, it’s not necessarily that other people I disagree with are wrong but just different; it’s their reality.
The second saying is from Donald Rumsfeld “We don’t know what we don’t know”. Having a healthy perspective also means being humble enough to know we don’t have all the answers and the facts. Sometimes I do a good job of fooling myself to think that my perception of things is the truth and factual. Why not share what I know even if it’s just truth to me? But what I am learning is that if I don’t agree with an issue or someone it’s an opportunity to learn more about that issue or their background. Realizing this gives me pause before sharing a somewhat uneducated opinion. Researching the issue often provides me a better perspective.
Along with those quotes there are two others that support having a healthier perspective. The first one is in the Bible is from the gospel of James “Be slow to speak and quick to listen”. That sounds easy but I think we all struggle with this at times. Stephen Covey put it another way which I believe will help us slow down before we speak. He wrote “Seek first to understand then to be understood”. If we focus on understanding which may not only require listening but reading or watching we can then seek to be understood in a much more relatable way.
As we move forward in 2021 there will continue to be a whole new list of life issues we will be confronted with. Maybe we can turn stumbling block issues into stepping stones discussions by having a broader and healthier perspective. We may not always agree but we may be able to come along side others with better understanding and more empathy by looking through a different lens.